it started with a collage...

Not over till it's over

Why is it so hard to die and be laid to rest?

My parents and I had them all set for prepaid preplanned cremations, Dad's went off a few years back without a hitch. When I went to finalize Mom's arrangements, I am told it takes all of the adult children to sign off or they won't do the cremation. Ohio law has changed. Lawsuits abound. They now videotape the entire cremation. Heck, they even ask if you want to watch it. Can you imagine???

Lovely. Just what I want, Mom lying around in a crematorium waiting for out of town sibs to sign off and get notarized. Or they will get their attorney's approval for majority rule-if two out of three of us signing is good enough.

"How long will you hold her here?" I ask. 

Indefinitely. As long as it takes. She's safe here. ...................uhh, what????

I have been waiting for a definitive answer since last Wednesday. I have none. I am not afraid that she isn't safe. I want closure.

We wondered for twelve years with her death in the back of our minds, we wondered how many days she could struggle without food and water, and now, even in death we wonder "can't she just GO in peace?"

If anyone is out there is Power of Attorney for a parent, it stops when they die. Even if you and the parent have arranged in advance for cremation, apparently in Ohio, you need all the children of said  parent to sign off on it. It doesn't even matter what the deceased previously signed up for or paid for. This overrides the will as well. The funeral home says we now need a "DECLARANT FORM" but in this case it is too late.

Planning a cremation in your future??? Run, don't walk to the nearest funeral home now and ask for this form. It will let you pick up to 7 representatives to have power to cremate you without having everyone you know sign off. Surely we all know 7 people that we could ask to do that for us..right?

 

 

 

bedside manner

It is a damn shame when people become involved in occupations they have no talent for. This is multiplied tenfold when someone is dying.

If I had my way I would fire a couple of the people in charge of Mom's care. Mean women with no bedside manner at all. The only reason they got into nursing is for the money. Impatient and snotty. I have no need for the bad attitudes when I ask questions or have concerns for my mother's final days. 

Don't be impatient or disregard me. Don't ignore me and tell me I am wrong when I give my opinion. Don't tell me that it is possible that Mom ate 75-100 percent of a meal when she hasn't been able to swallow food for weeks. Don't tell me I don't know what I am talking about when I disagree that she is incapable of that and she is asleep 98% of the time. 

You are a (lousy) nurse.

                            You are not God. You do not know everything. You do not see everything. 

I am hurting now over my Mom. I don't need your snotty smirk.

 

today's pet peeve

Bad drivers. 

The ones who don't know what the middle turning lane is for. You know, that lane between the other lanes that has arrows pointing in BOTH directions indicating that you get over there to turn. Get out of the flow of traffic people. Please.

Even worse are the ones who HALF understand the concept and are part way in the traffic flow lane (just enough to block the flow) and part way in the turning lane. Really? Do you only HALF understand what the lane is for?

 

rejected and dejected

ARGGH! I am sick and my two pieces got rejected from the upcoming show at the Box Gallery. It is raining yet again and I am really NOT liking Ohio about now. Still having spam issues with this site which worries me.

 

But, on the upside, it is Easter, it could be snowing, I will get over this cold and I didn't think I would get into the show anyway. In a previous post I said something about donating to the cause. And I did. 

HAPPY EASTER! 

and in the end...

update:

The car was stolen, the plates were too. Don't know who the driver was, probably will never know.  The strange thing about my "everything happens for a reason theory" is that if I hadn't been hit by the irresponsible louse in the stolen car, I never would have had a chest xray. If I never had a chest xray, I would not have known that I have a "nodule" on my lung. It may or may not be something. CT scan today, results in a couple of days and who knows what will happen. If it is something dreadful, we may have caught it in time to treat it. If it isn't something dreadful, at least I know it is there. Still, this has been an expensive and painful drama to endure. Hopefully it is NOTHING.  But even if it was fated, I am still angry at the guy that hit me. I am still appalled at a world where people can be so deliberately scummy, untrustworthy,deceptive, etc., etc. 

On to another subject...Here are the beginning of new collages. These are pages of my late uncle's lottery "system"--he had piles of notebooks full of numbers which make NO sense to anyone who has viewed them. Yet, he must have believed it worked because he did hit the (big) lottery many years ago and continued to play until he died. I don't know where I will go with these yet, I just felt like starting with the madness of the numbers.

one-one-oneone

So, I get up today and think WOW, it is 1-1-11 and I started thinking of all the things I am thankful for and how my life is pretty darn good overall....and how I like that it is a new beginning and I am a big fan of days with lots of one's. (My birthday is 11-11, it is my favorite "lucky" number). I am making no resolutions as I never keep them anyhow so why bother. The one thing I really wished I could change was to have a different car due to poor gas mileage of the PT Cruiser. But I didn't want car payments, so I kept hanging on to the PT. 

At noon, I went out for coffee with T and as we were leaving the restaurant a guy slammed into us on the driver side and looked at me laughing, then backed up and flew up the street. Thank heavens for T's good memory with numbers and the fact that he wasn't hurt and jumped out of the car right away to get the plate number. I was stunned, crying and holding by chest and head which got whacked around by the jolt. That S.O.B. drives away! Laughs and drives away!? 

Thanks to the unknown woman who chased the guy till she lost him and then came back to tell us that she lost him but called the police and gave description. Then she came over, hugged me and started praying till I thought we'd catch fire she was praising God so much. 

The car is likely stolen or the plates were because they don't match the type of car it was. Likely the guy had no license or insurance and wasn't sticking around to get arrested. The cop said that is probably why he was laughing...it wasn't his car anyway. Now I have no car, a deductible and no rental car coverage (apparently that was dropped at some point though unbeknownst to me). 

My chest still hurts because I think I am bruised or may have a cracked rib. But it could have been worse. I don't know if they will fix the car or not as it is 5 years old and has a good bit of damage down the whole left side, front tire and axle. 

I guess the lesson here is watch what you wish for. 

Happy New Year. Not so happy 1-1-11.

Oh, and to the guy that hit me...FU.

OUCH!

Local art critic for the BJ certainly seemed harsh in her review of the latest Summit Artspace show "Figuratively Speaking." But, I guess when you are the only dog and pony show in town, you can be as scathing as you like and go on about your business. I saw the show on opening night and though I am surely not an expert, the show was brought before a committee for approval and acceptance and I certainly would believe THEIR judgment before a "journalistic art critic."  Oh, the self importance of some.....

Apologies to White and Gentner. I liked your works.

And that is my rant for the day.

It's raining, it's pouring...

Not literally. But around here when things happen they all seem to happen at once. As I said in last post, the baby girls showed up in the middle of the night which means there will be much juggling of schedules to accommodate what Mom and them need. Mom was released from the hospital a couple of days ago but the little ones are staying until they are strong enough to eat all their meals without falling asleep and they must retain a certain temperature. For now Mom is running back and forth every three hours to feed them and the three year old is getting to see all the relatives that she doesn't get to see on a daily basis as they rotate turns caring for her while Mom is at hospital.

 I had been pitching in as much as I could then the next drama started at work. They finally sent one of our employees packing. She had been there forever and should have been let go for past behaviors but she was allowed to stay until they had documented enough transgressions. That happened about the time the babies were born. So, I am filling in some of the hours she used to work until they find/train someone new. Interviews are not going very well. People show up that have been drinking or were last night and still smell of it, that just woke up and didn't comb their hair, that can barely read and write. Really? In this economy when jobs are scarce and everyone is applying for food sta....OH yeah, If you can get food stamps and assistance why get a job? If you can get medical benefits and food and cash enough to get by, why bother doing anything else. If assistance $$ is more than you can earn per hour, why get off your butt? 

Enough rants. 

I still don't have baby pics as girls are in special care and I haven't taken a camera in. I am waiting for some pics from Dad and Mom that I can post.

I missed the OCS critique and haven't been making any art for days. It is sad. 

The cut

O.K. So I didn't make the cut for this show. Here is the finished piece with added garters and the "10" on her chest, also showing a little "booty" at the suggestion of a fellow artist who will remain unnamed. I did not really expect to get in the show, my gut said no way, but with some gentle prompting, I tried anyway. 

That said...I am having some mixed feelings about entering shows lately. Right this minute, I have been having some issues coming up with the fees to enter and the fees to stay a member of art groups instead of spending money on other things like art supplies or food. There are times I feel I am too poor to be an artist instead of being poor BECAUSE I am an artist. 

About getting accepted into shows-It sometimes seems many good people get in just because they are damn good and always hit it out of the park. That is the way it should be. It sometimes seems to be a crap shoot based solely on the opinion of the juror(s). Other times, it seems to be based on who you know or if you are part of the "group." NOW, before any of my readers get their shorts in a bunch thinking I am accusing them of anything shady....I am basing this on my (40) years of being around artsy people and artsy groups. Who gets in and who doesn't sometimes seems based on a good reason and sometimes (in my opinion and from my observations) NOT. But, I have also seen the same type of "politics" in business and church and volunteer groups and so on. Which might be why I often have a hard time playing with others. 

What it truly boils down to is this: I just haven't logged the hours, done the work, honed my skills to be one of the honored ones who can get in every show even if they don't follow the rules (see last post). But then again, I am nitpicking. Right? 

Thank you to M who made me feel better by saying I was a "straight shooter" when it comes to saying what I mean.   

Partly cloudy with a chance of.....

Rain? Depression? Aggravation? Frustration? Likely all of these and more. As long as there isn't snow I can get through it. I have had several days off and hoped to accomplish many wonderful things but feel I have not. To follow up the last post, my creativity apparently has come out in other ways. This was pointed out by my dear niece Stacey in California (see last post comments).

Here is my list of creative activities for the last week. 

Babysitting my grandchild(ren) everyday. Taking the oldest to a movie and the root beer stand. Decorating a birthday cake for the youngest. Attending a birthday party for her. Paying bills. Doing tax related stuff. Cleaning house. Eating out. Yelling at the nurses and aides at mom's nursing home for putting her in a  sweater that should go OVER a shirt. They had nothing on her under it and she was sitting there asleep with her chest hanging out for all the Easter day visitors to see. Sleeping because I am exhausted. Posting junk on ebay trying to make some cash. Staring at the back yard and trying to get the gumption to do something with it (see pics below). Chasing and spraying the termites which have infested the house since the yard/sewer incident (again, see pics below). Waiting for the termite man who was an hour and fifteen minutes late, who then explained that I have termites. Really?   

I really have to get better at this. I started logging on to the Gratitude Log and finding something to be grateful for each day. I think I made three entries. I gave up. I know the issue here isn't that there is nothing to be grateful for, it is seeing it, finding it in the mundane, the overburdened lives we all have. It is knowing a diamond from a stone and shouting "damn, I found a diamond" everyday instead of lugging your box of rocks and complaining about the weight of it all. It is me and my die-hard bad habits and genes that say "oh, life sucks." Life is hard Bren, keep looking for diamonds.