it started with a collage...

quilt squares

She is in and out now, floating through a drug induced kind of peace. Her chest rattles like old windows in the wind. Her hands that once sewed and pieced quilt squares are wrapped in fleece and padding to protect them from harm.It is soft and keeps her hands warm..reminds me of quilt batting. She would like that.

Today, I don't choke when I see her. I sit down and stare at the ceiling. I brush her hair off her face. I tell her again that she can go. Anytime. I sit some more. 

I come home and think of painting. Collage. How I started this blog because I made a collage about her and Alzheimer's. Nearly full circle. Much love mama. Find peace.

Tonight I'll sleep under the quilt you started and I finished. Maybe dream of you.

Friday quote

"I'm not overweight, I'm just nine inches too short."

                                                                        Shelly Winters

 

Sorry, but I just had to laugh today and this did it. Unfortunately, I usually feel the same way she did. 

I am going to paint tonight. Will post it if I am not totally humiliated by the results.

painting

I have about 18 square boards to paint on. I am not much of a painter. I look at these boards and think of all that I could do with them. I feel all I could paint now would be sad looking, reflecting my mood. Do you think if I used bright colors it would help? 

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Some days the only thing that keeps me feeling the least bit light-hearted are the grandbabies. The 4- year-old said to me yesterday as she was measuring me "I am measuring you to make sure you are the right size for God to handle."

"Am I?" 

"Oh, YES!" she says. 

"Are YOU the right size for God to handle?" I ask her. 

"Yes, God loves children and we love God" she says. 

Now, if I could just capture that goodness, sweetness in a painting.

twenty months

I was art journaling quite a lot a couple of years ago. I never reread any of those until tonight. This is a slightly (purposely) obliterated page from the day my son quit speaking to me. It has been twenty months, much has changed in both our lives but still...no word from him. 

That day I could only draw flames because of anger and hurt. Now the fire is gone. It is just frustration and sadness that we can't agree to disagree. Some say I am better off this way--TV's Judge Joe Brown calls it "disownment." It feels incomplete. Undone. A mess. Unfixable.

My journal fell by the wayside. I've got to get back to it. 

OH, I forgot about you...

For a minute I forgot about blogging at all. I have ADHD or some such thing I am certain, because I can't consistently stay involved in keeping up with things. I can be cruising along just fine, then..."oh look at that shiny thing over there..." and I am totally off track again. Many.distractions.every.day.

I have made art (or my version of art) and just not posted. My latest thing is doing art for Art-o-Mat machines. I am kind of passing on entering local shows for now. Don't have the stomach for it I guess. 

More on Art-o-Mat  here.

Latest art here.

 

Not getting better?? Who cares!

Someone once told me if I would keep doing the same kind of art I would get better at it. Instead, I jump all over because there are so many fun things to try. Too many materials to just stick with one thing. I can not imagine ever calling myself a watercolorist, or a sculptor and doing just that one process. Over and over. I guess the point of all this is the art I am now about to post. It is still ACEO size but I am painting over a page from my Uncle's lottery number system. You can see some of the numbers under the paint. I guess they will list on Etsy like much else I have been doing. I am having a good time even if I am not getting any better because I am jumping around between styles and mediums. It should just be about have a great time getting lost in the moment. Right?

the colors are more intense in reality, monitor makes them bland.

Rainy with a chance of sun

April was the rainiest we have ever had and May seems to be working on beating it. I tried to get the grass mowed today and came in soaked to my socks because I couldn't leave that 10 foot square of tall grass in the middle of the yard. I thought I would beat the rain but, no. 

The problem with spammers has apparently been stopped here on Typepad. Thanks to the powers that be at the help desk. 

More art soon. Too busy paddling the boat and trying to stay dry.......

Be back soon.

Happy Mother's Day!

Just a quick post to give a shout out to all mothers! It is a difficult but rewarding job that never ends. Just about time you think you might have it down, you turn into YOUR mother and oh...just imagine the rest. That's all I have to say about that.

 

Here is some art. Trying different things now and again. These are Prose People and are for sale on Etsy at www.etsy.com/shop/brenellen

crazy new series?

I am doing this new series of ACEO's called Prose People. Made up of a 1929 novel page with words painted over except for a few. The words left behind sometimes make sense and sound a bit like a thought or a bit of prose. They never rhyme, or haven't so far. I then match up people from old photos from the 50's and 60's to go with the words. Some obviously work better than others. A bit of pen and ink or color and that is it. I feel they are sad and/or humorous and that may be because of the tone of the novel. I think it is about a divorce, always a cheerful subject...I may try others with another novel and happier pictures. So far, most of these pictures are from a bar, they came from a stash I got at a deceased barmaid's house. Cheerful, huh? 

You can see more on my Etsy page if you are interested. There is a link over there--------------->

If you have any idea or opinion about these, please chime in. I appreciate all comments and complaints. Helps me to know what to do next. Sometimes I even listen.  LOL.

This is titled "Many Proposals"

Winning....no, not Charlie Sheen winning, another kind

Unlike wacky Charlie Sheen winning, these winners really ARE winning and deservedly so! At tonight's opening of Artists of Rubber City  21st Juried Show in the BOX gallery, there were winners for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place as well as seven honorable mentions!

Congratulations to all the winners but especially to Shirley (who usually wins something in every show) and to Terry K. who recently changed direction in his work and is having really great results! Also his first assemblage piece sold tonight! I am so happy for all of them! If you have a chance, see this show and the Summit Artspace "Beyond Newsprint" show which runs the same dates through June 5. Great works by wonderful artists.

Thanks to those who brought food and wine...it was enjoyed by all!

Note to Don if you are still reading...I am no longer whining!