Mom goes into hospice care tomorrow.
I am unconsciously holding my breath, I catch myself doing it all day. I forget to breathe and wait for the phone to ring. This is a dreadful way to go, waiting and feeling a bit guilty for wishing her suffering (is she suffering?) would end. Or is it my selfishness, my suffering seeing her this way that makes me wish her a peaceful end?
I can barely contain my tears when I see her. My whole perspective of life and death has changed. What to do with the time one has left. How quickly we can become only a tiny bit of who we once were.
Damnit.
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